Thursday, September 21, 2006
You can take a girl out of the city, but you can’t take New York City out of a girl.
My Love,
I don't know how to tell you this, but my career has offered me an opportunity that threatens to keep us apart for upwards of another year.
Please don't hate me.
And please don't tell me it will never work.
After all, despite the difficulty of these past six months apart we made it. Didn't we? A month apart, a week together - we made it work. And the fact we surmounted these challenges is a testimony to the fact we can survive despite the odds.
Didn't the time pass quickly between visits? A year from now will come and go in the blink of an eye and it will feel as if I never left.
The truth is, we needed this break.
When I met you two years ago, I was afraid of the feelings that your stirred. I was afraid that I would lose myself in loving you. And in many ways, I did.
I allowed myself to get caught up in the thrill and the frenzy of this relationship that so transcended anything I had ever known before. As long as we were together, life was in constant exciting motion. So much motion, that I had no time to look at myself. You kept me distracted from the misery of my own failed ambitions.
But in the past six months of our long distance relationship, I have had more quiet time. I've had time to think. I've had time to feel. I've had no distractions from thinking about myself and my purpose. And I needed it.
I've appreciated our time apart. It makes the time we are together that much sweeter. It makes me a stronger woman, and isn't that what you want? Don't you want to know that you are exactly what I was looking for, rather than the latest mask to hide my fears of being alone, bored and useless to the world?
I feel like I have been here before with others. In fact, if you say you just can't do it for another year you wont be the first relationship I’ve lost over career and personal ambitions. But you would be the greatest loss incurred thus far.
There are some loves that just can't be replaced.
Please say we can make it. I can honestly say that I’ve never known a love like this before, or loved another like I love you.
If ever there was an ideal match for me and all my idiosyncrasies, you are it. So don't give up on me just yet.
Will you hold on for just a little longer? I don't want to lose you. Because while others may come and go, the truth is ... I will never love another Manhattan.
-Jane
Labels: Pop Culture Casualty, Sober
