Wednesday, July 05, 2006

An Observation

My all-time favorite NYC sign: the one at selected intersections that says "Don't Block The Box. Fine +2 Points."

+2 points? In what game? And can I play? It sounds like fun. For some reason my friends hate it when I deduct points from them for standing in front of the box. They pretend like they're too cool for the game, but I think they're just sore losers. What my friends don't know is that I actually have no idea what or where this "box" is. Whatever square-type thing they're blocking at the moment, though... we'll call that the box for now. (You could say I'm a cheater. But it's hard to play fair when you don't know the rules.)

Or, maybe it's not a game... Maybe the sign means +2 points, in LIFE. You know, like some kind of cumulative thing. I always picture myself standing at the gates of heaven while St. Peter (or whoever it is that greets us Jews) adds up my score.

"Well, I see here 26 incidents of box blocking... that'll put you down 52 points. But, you make up 12 of those for drinking calcium-rich orange juice every morning, and 10 more for your beautiful blue eyes. Add in the 18 for making dean's list, the 14 for being nice to your little sister, and the 6 for always carrying scissors with the sharp side down, and you come out on top. Lion, I think we can let you... Uh oh. Wait. What's this, favorite move 'Annie??' Ohhh, Lion, I don't know. That'll kick you down 10 points... yeah, you're not going to make it. So sorry. Have a good eternity though."

This is just what I think about while I'm waiting for the walk signal.


posted by Lion @ 7/05/2006 09:27:00 AM |


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