Sunday, July 24, 2005
A NYC Pause
Days go by in a blur! Uptown, downtown, work, meetings, friends, class, new men, fun. Life of the single woman in New York City. But as we've seen by Sober, single can get tricky here. Why is it that when you are happy and glowing you attract so many people? That's what's been happening so far. Whoever said there were no interesting, single, and available men in NYC was totally wrong.But when this happens, and when time goes by in a blur, you can make time for everything but yourself. In consequence, it is time to take a PAUSE. Enough male attention. Enough partying, enough of it all. "STOP and see what you're doing!" "What am I doing?" "What do I want?" "Who is coming into my life?"
These are the questions that I ask myself in my Sunday morning. When I evaluate everything that happened during the week while I miss my Sunday yoga class due to Mr. Preferred Man coming to visit me, as he did last weekend. Some things you can't put on pause. Some things just happen naturally. "Should I let this get serious?" "Should I question him? "STOP, live, enjoy the moment", I tell myself. "Stop all the questions to yourself!", for a while at least.
But it's the EXCITEMENT; it's the excitement of walking in the Village and going to a fancy party, the excitement of meeting an Australian man who wants to wait on me hand and foot, while a Jewish guy wants to join my friends and I for Latin dancing, while an American guy sits in France waiting to come back to NYC to have a chance to have dinner with me, if I accept. This is something a woman with a history of long relationships has no experience with! Especially when her history revolved around possessive Latin men! And then there is Preferred Man N, as interested in me as ever and starting his life here in only a week. Are these guys just gifts for me to see that N is the one? Or are they all here to make me see that no jealous and neglecting Latin guy had the right to make me feel like I don't deserve all this, or that I'm not all that I am?
I suppose we ARE what we accept our lives to be. I choose to believe that all the NYC excitement is part of my new open view of life and of all the possibilities and choices one can make. Friends from the world-over, art classes, yoga classes, museums, music, music, music! Maybe if I just choose what makes me be myself more, and concentrate on that, I can let the "guy" thing sort itself out!
Ok but if there is a party in the East Village, in Soho, in the Upper West, or on the upper East, or a rockin' concert with Cherry and all the NYC talents, I'm there! But this time with a clearer mind; from now on I'm on pause. Let the universe send its blessings without my obsessive mind running crazy around them.
Labels: Boy Stories, Mex
