Monday, February 27, 2006
Spotless Mind
10 ways to clear away the memory of your ex…
1. Erase his phone messages, so you don’t stumble upon them some lonely Sunday night.
2. If you can’t move, re-arrange the furniture.
3. Walk eight blocks out of your way so that there is no possible way you could walk by his apartment.
4. If he is in the movie business, don’t read the tabloids or go to the movies for at least a month.
5. Erase his old e-mails. There is really no practical reason you will need to recount your prior witty banter.
6. Establish a one month no call rule, but plan never to speak to him again. Give it up. You are not going to be friends some day.
7. Do not flirt with or date anyone else for a month. It will only make you miss him.
8. Go out! Get out! Even if it is just for a walk, resist the desire to sit at home and mourn the fantasy.
9. Go to the gym every night… exercise will heal the wounds and make you feel better about yourself.
10. Masturbate nightly to the fantasy of men that really loved you… or at least tried to please you in bed.
This should erase him from your mind in every way.
1. Erase his phone messages, so you don’t stumble upon them some lonely Sunday night.
2. If you can’t move, re-arrange the furniture.
3. Walk eight blocks out of your way so that there is no possible way you could walk by his apartment.
4. If he is in the movie business, don’t read the tabloids or go to the movies for at least a month.
5. Erase his old e-mails. There is really no practical reason you will need to recount your prior witty banter.
6. Establish a one month no call rule, but plan never to speak to him again. Give it up. You are not going to be friends some day.
7. Do not flirt with or date anyone else for a month. It will only make you miss him.
8. Go out! Get out! Even if it is just for a walk, resist the desire to sit at home and mourn the fantasy.
9. Go to the gym every night… exercise will heal the wounds and make you feel better about yourself.
10. Masturbate nightly to the fantasy of men that really loved you… or at least tried to please you in bed.
This should erase him from your mind in every way.
Labels: Pop Culture Casualty, Sober
